Sunday, December 28, 2008

Becoming Real

In my book I devote a chapter to becoming real. It is so difficult to do as an incest survivor. I have to try to get in touch with my feelings and check myself out from time to time. Often someone else helps with that - my husband is really good at helping me be real. I think asking myself the following questions also helps.
How do I feel right now? Sad. My son is going back home several hundred miles away.
How do I see myself today?I see myself as a tired woman. Exhausted from Christmas celebrations. Sore because of Rheumatoid arthritis. Perhaps having some post Christmas blues.
What do I like about myself today?I like that I am taking care of myself. I am tired and therefore, I am relaxing and taking it easy, rather than trying to push thru the fatigue. I am allowing myself to feel sad and not apologizing for it. Feelings are feelings. Neither good or bad.
How do I think or hope God sees me today? God sees me as a vulnerable child of his who is needing His love and comfort and healing.

6 comments:

RomanCatholic Deacon said...

We certainly need God's love, every moment of our crazy lives! Some days are harder than other's but we struggle and get through it by prayer & devotions. I have to keep repeating: "Jesus, grant me Thy love and grace" over and over. Just knowing My Savior loves me so much that He suffered and died for me makes me want to love all those around me, no matter what.
New Years Blessings to you & family.
Deacon John

Colleen said...

Deacon John, thanks for your comment. I like your prayer asking Jesus for love and grace. God bless.

Morgan Mandel said...

Lots of times it's easy to get caught up with how other people feel and ignore our own feelings.

It's good to stop and take stock of ourselves from time to time.

Morgan Mandel
http://morganmandel.blogspot.com
http://www.morganmandel.com

Colleen said...

Morgan, You are so right! We should all take the time to check out our hearts. Thanks for your comment.

April_optimist said...

(((((Hugs))))) It's hard to have our kids far away--no matter how grown up they might be.

I love that you're able to let yourrself feel what you feel.

Colleen said...

Thanks April_optimist, thank you for your concern and caring.