Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Childhood Memories

Not all the memories of my past are traumatic. Saw my family this past week. Saw my brothers and sister and my mom and we enjoyed our visit. I especially enjoyed seeing my mother. I relived some childhood moments. Watched her sing in the church choir which brought back memories of when, as a child, I watched her sing. We baked Christmas cookies together - another childhood memory that was good.
Saw my best friend Bonnie. We have been friends for about 48 years. What a blessing. Saw the church where I was baptized. Ate lunch in what used to be the penny candy store when I was a little girl. Saw the mother of a girl I went to school with decades ago.
I was able to look at the actual Third Floor Window as we drove by the old house of bad memories. My stomach did a few somersaults when I saw it but that was all.
The incest so overshadowed everything in my childhood, that I have a hard time remembering anything good about it. But there were good memories and this trip gave me a chance to see that. And to remember. Another blessing. Thank you Lord.


April_optimist said...

Healing is being able to remember the good as well as the bad, the love as well as the hurt. I'm so glad you had a good time with your family.

Oh, I've got an award for you on my blog!

Colleen said...

Thank you for your comments. I do think it is all a sign of more healing taking place. And I saw the award! Thanks!

mile191 said...

Thank you for sharing about healing. really nice. i appreciate that you are so positive. i am working through some of these things. thanks colleen. happy day to you.

little sparrow , florasita , sticklady , strong tree woman said...

Colleen , I am really enjoying reading all your posts and also the links to others !
I was a person who had absolutely no memory of my own abuse , repressed memory and will write about it at some point .
It was a dear catholic friend I had made via homeschooling who said to me when I asked the question of why could I not remember . She told me perhaps it is His way of protecting me , keeping me safe , His time for me to remember was not at that specific time .
Once I began my formation and being open to healing on His terms , His time is when my memory began to return .
Equally my flashbacks , dreams , and at last memories were and are not frightening or scarey to me they are truely healing in themselves . It makes me think now what was I so afraid of but fear almost always makes us hide .
Just human that is all . Thanks again . Much Love , Roxie

Colleen said...

Fear certainly does make us hide.
I repressed my memory of telling my mother about the abuse. I think I couldn't deal with the fact that nothing changed, so I repressed the memory until I went on retreat. It was a safe place for me to get my memory back and helped me deal with it. I agree that God may be keeping us safe until it is time to remember. Thanks for your comment and God bless!!