Sunday, January 4, 2009

Joy Comes From Unexpected Places

I am not what I consider materialistic. I like some things, yes. I like my ipod. It brings me music and books and prayers, etc. I like some of my knick knacks that have sentimental value. I loved my cross that I got in Rome. When I lost it, I actually cried over that. It wasn't just the cross itself. It was the fact it had been blessed by the Pope. Not replaceable.
And then there is my car. I have never "loved" a car before. But then, I have never had a VW bug before. And not just a VW bug. But a VW bug convertible. It reminds me of the 60's when I grew up. And it doesn't have an image of a "snobby" kind of car. More like a down-home, next-door-neighbor, low-car-payments kind of car. And so much fun to drive. Especially since it is a convertible. That is what really brings me so much joy.
Today I drove it home from Mass with the top down (with apologies to those of you in cold climates). It was definitely convertible weather today. Such a beautiful day. And I had some Praise & Worship kind of music on and I was raising my hands straight up to the sky and singing out loud, praising the Lord (make that one hand, I did remember to keep the other one on the steering wheel!) What joy I felt!
I have always had a hard time expressing my feelings. Sexual abuse survivors often do. It is amazing how something like a car can help me feel and express joy like that. The first month I had it, I giggled every time I drove it with the top down! I think it is the sense of freedom I get when I am driving with the top down. That feeling of the wind in my hair and the sun on my face. The feeling of endless possibilities and dreams coming true. And feeling like I have no worries in the world.
It is not a feeling that I have allowed myself to experience often in my life. And I know I can't give all the credit to a car, for pete's sake. But just the fact that I let anything help me feel and express joy is something to celebrate.
So if you are ever in my neck of the woods, and you see a wacky lady driving her Bug down the highway, hand raised and music blaring like she was a teenager, wave at me or honk your horn! I will be happy to see you!


Jean M. Heimann said...

You sound like you really have been set free and are rejoicing. I'm so happy for you, Colleen.:)

I've always wanted a convertible - thought it would be so much fun. Enjoy and keep praising the Lord!

Clairvaux said...

Oh oh oh. Now, I can remember some incredibly wonderful times in VW bug...not a convertible. But I sure do know how you felt!! Oh ya! If I ever see you driving, I'll flag you down and get in with you! hahaha Oh, put on some Uriah Heep, 3 Dog Night, which way to the beach! heeahahahaha

RomanCatholic Deacon said...

And of course as you were waving that hand in the air, praising God, you were thanking Jesus & Mary for that VW Bug: Jesus supplying and Mary dispensing!
Years ago(about 1965), I bought a new VW Bug, all red, with black leather seats and a sun roof. I loved that little car. I was working for a local TV station as a News Courier and "Johnny do everything." The company decided that they would buy me a car to use instead of paying me road mileage money. Now I had TWO VW Bugs! :-) But I had to sell my red one, but had a heck of a time doing it. Finally I took it back to the dealer and said "please take this off my hands. I'm paying for it with out using it!" He said all he could do was pay off the loan cause there was 38,000 miles on the car. I said ok, but felt robbed. About a week later, I passed the VW dealer and saw my red Bug on the used car lot. I went over to the car to see it for one last time and noticed that the sticker said "Low Mileage!" Sure enough, they had turned the odometer back to 8000 miles. What a crook! This memory has stuck in my mind all these years, my little red VW Bug story!
Deacon John

Colleen said...

Thanks to all for your comments on my VW bug blog! I appreciate your visit. Blessings to all.

Jean, Thanks for your comments! Yes, there are moments when I feel set free. "The truth shall set you free" - so true. The convertible is definitely fun!!

Clairvaux - VW bugs are just plain fun to drive eh? We definitely need to drive to the beach!

Deacon John - Enjoyed reading your story. 2 VW bugs! wow!! I can understand you feeling robbed. What an experience. I am wondering if you ever got another VW Bug? Thanks for your story.

April_optimist said...

Oh, I'm grinning just picturing it! I'm so glad you have this car!

Oh, and I did the 10 things I like about myself challenge today.

Colleen said...

Thank you for your comment! And your grinning!! I can't wait to check out your blog to see how you handled the challenge!!

Enola said...

If I drove by you and heard your music, I'd have been shouting "Hallelujah" to you (says the one who drove back from court today, albeit with the windows up and heat on, but singing praise music at the top of my lungs. I'm kind of partial to the new "Give me your eyes" song).

Colleen said...

Enola, That is so great! I wasn't familiar with "Give Me Your Eyes", so I listened to it online and ordered it. I like it a lot! Thanks! Blessings!