Friday, January 2, 2009

Just Get Over It

I came across this article about a 79 year old woman who has published her memoir about child sexual abuse. She said she wrote it to help others. I am glad she has done this. When one person writes her story, it helps all of us. That is the way I feel about my own book. I hope it helps others and brings hope to people.
The article says that the author wrote the book to "show others that they can get over childhood abuse" (This is a quote from the article itself, not in quotes from the author.) As for me, I am not sure I can ever "get over it." In fact those words are triggers for me. Get over it?!?!?! That is what people usually say that do not understand what we survivors go through. I have heard this over and over - "Why can't you just get over it?"
I remember Dr. Phil saying on his show once, that people with deep pain from abuse or other trauma will hopefully get to the point when we can put our pain on the top shelf in our closet and not think of it day after day after day; maybe just take it out once in a while when we need to deal with it and then put it back on the shelf. That is where I hope to be someday. But get over it?
I guess I should not forget about grace. With God all things are possible. Right? Complete healing is always possible.
We can hope.


Cheri said...

Wow...what a neat article. Thank you for sharing that.

You know, I simply can't imagine the pain of sexual abuse. Well, I can imagine it, but the reality of the ramifications of that abuse causes me to cringe inside. It has to be so deeply scarring as it perverts that part of our humanity that is so sacred, and meant for one special person. Especially, when it is caused by those we love and trust to care for us. Physical and emotional abuse is one thing, ....but sexual abuse is certainly something where one should never say to another, "just get over it." I can understand your triggers there.

How encouraging it must have been for you to find this article. You never know who your book might reach :)

It might be a good idea to see if you could get a copy of your book to this women, if you would feel comfortable doing so, and can reach her.
God Bless you today Colleen...

Colleen said...

Cheri, Thank you so much for your kind and compassionate response to my post and my life story. You are correct that child sexual abuse scars go very deep. There is nothing in our lives that is not affected by the abuse. Thanks also for your suggestion about sending my book to that woman. God bless you!

Joy said...

I can only tell you I've heard that remark many times. What I get now is, "Surely, after all these years...." My response is a tad caddy - "Yep, I am still a victim of rape - after all these years that has remained. Sigh.

I found you through a comment you left on Enola.

Thanks for sharing this article. And thanks for sharing your life.

Colleen said...

Thanks so much for your comments. And sharing your response to people who say - after all these years? I understand your sigh.
Thanks for visiting!!