I have had a problem with perfectionism most of my life. I know it stems from my childhood. I thought if I was as perfect as possible, if I was a good little girl, maybe the abuse would stop. Of course, it didn’t.
I am better than I used to be. As I grew in my love and knowledge of God, as I grew in my trust in God and began to believe that God loves me, I began to see that I did not have to be perfect – for God or anyone. I began to see that God loves me just the way I am. As my love and trust in God grew, so did my trust grow in the people that mattered the most. Especially my husband. I began to see that I didn’t have to be perfect for him either. He also loves me just the way I am.
I also came to realize that I needed to learn to love myself. I needed to give myself the uncondtional love that I gave my husband and my sons. I needed to let myself be imperfect.
I still struggle with perfectionism. It is surely a thorn in my flesh. When I notice myself getting impatient with myself and with my mistakes, I try to remember: God is perfect and that is enough.
My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness. (2 Cor 12:9, NAB)