Friday, May 15, 2009


Happiness is
...knowing I am loved.
... ice coffee and chocolate.
... sitting on the beach watching the seagulls

I have often been told that we can choose to be happy. I have never thought that worked very well for me. I have always hated it when someone would come up to me and say "Smile!" That often backfires because I usually find it annoying and will often become grumpy after someone says that!!

As an incest survivor, I have pretended for most of my life. For years, I pretended I was happy and that my life was just perfect. I did not let on that I was being sexually abused and that I was lonely and in pain. Well, I do not care to pretend any more. If I do not feel like smiling, then I do not feel like smiling. Period. No one is going to tell me how to be or what to feel. Not any more.
That being said, since writing my book, I have discovered that truth really does set one free. And I have been a lot more willing to look at the blessings in my life and to say what makes me happy. And I have found that the more I look at my blessings and my happiness, the happier and more blessed I feel. It is kinda tricky how that works and I have to figure God has a hand in this somehow.
I have been receiving a lot of positive feedback on my happiness quotes on Twitter. So now I am thinking I should blog about happiness a little more. Make a list or whatever. On my other blog I have joined in on the memes where we count our blessings or say what we are thankful for. I find that the more I think about my blessings, the more blessed I feel and the more blessings I find.
So, I am not telling you that you MUST smile. What I am saying is, we can choose to find happiness in many ways and in many places. And maybe we need to try to do that every day. Just once a day, we can stop and think, what makes me happy? Or what am I grateful for? I wonder if we would be changed by that.
Just a thought.


Patricia Singleton said...

Colleen, from my own experience with counting my blessings, I agree with you that becoming more aware of my blessings does contribute to me having a better life. Attitude definitely is important.

Like you, for so many years, I pretended to be happy and at peace with my life when the reality was so very different. I thought I hid what I was really feeling quite well. I didn't. My husband and sister both knew what I was feeling.

Today I have a best friend who knows me well enough to sometimes pick up the unhappiness before I even become aware of it. It is good to have a friend like her. Some days when I am not quite ready to look at what is bothering me, it is irritating to have a friend who knows me so well. Have a glorious day of counting your blessings unless you choose to do otherwise. It is always about choice.

Just Be Real said...

Colleen, I like this post. I too have heard endlessly from people to say, "smile" or "cheerup." Would make my skin crawl at times.

I am totally believing that the "truth" indeed will set "us" free. Some, it will take longer, i.e. me. But, it is a goal!

Look forward to your "happy" posts down the line.

Blessings dear one, and thank you!

Colleen said...

Patricia, Thank you. I agree, it is all about choice and we need not feel guilty if we do not care to smile! Thank you for that.
I also agree that it can be annoying sometimes when we have someone who knows us so well! Sometimes I am not ready to talk about something and my friend will bug me to death. She is learning to give me some space though! And I, too, feel blessed to have her as a friend. It is so healing to know someone cares.
Thank you so much for your comment. It means a lot to me. God bless.

Colleen said...

Just Be Real, I can tell you, that feeling of being set free seems to come in pieces - not all at once and not a permanent feeling .. but to have snippets of it is truly a blessing...glad you like the post ..
God bless.

little sparrow , florasita , sticklady , strong tree woman said...

Colleen just dropping in to say thanx for visiting my blog !
with the subject matter I really thought no one would visit lol
today we went to the garden center as it is a long weekend eher in Canada .
as we left to our car I looked up and there was a gull gliding . Oh such a feeling ! I said to ds8 right now I wish I could be a gull and we watched him for awhile , then of course dh said " why so you can poop while your flying " men ! lol we all had a great laugh .
You cannot force smiles or laughter on anyone . I think the secular world has that image that we are here to be happy and if we are not in a constant state of happiness there must be something wrong ;-)
anyway reading your line about the beach and seagulls made me smile because of my nice memory today .
Thats real
Thank You Colleen

Colleen said...

Glad my line about the beach made you smile. Thanks for sharing your nice memory today. I so agree about not being able to make others smile. Except my husband can always make me smile - he just has that gift! God bless.

sarah said...

about what you said on my blog - your sons having a hard time reading your book, I worry about that too for my girls. I think you are a brave and gentle lady. Sarah

Colleen said...

Thank you Sarah. So are you.

Marj aka Thriver said...

This is really great! Thanks for letting us use this post for THE BLOG CARNIVAL AGAINST CHILD ABUSE. I will get the edition up tomorrow, and I'm working on it right now. I'm putting your entry under "healing & Therapy" because I think it gives a great healing/healthy perspective.

Colleen said...

Thank you Marj, I am looking forward to seeing the Carnival!

Child Person said...

Thank you for sharing this lovely post on Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse...for domr it takes a long time to smile inside again but it does come. Wishing you all smiles when they feel good.

Colleen said...

Child Person - thank you for your comments. I wish you smiles too - when YOU want them.