I like to be in control. It is how I feel safe. If I can control the world I am in, then no one can hurt me.
I am not in control right now. In fact, losing control over this situation with my father has spilled over into losing control at work and at home. I am very aware of not having any control over anything.
I am learning to go with the flow and live minute to minute. Which is a good thing in a way. I think.