Monday, June 29, 2009

Declaration of Independence

I am now declaring my independence from all who abuse me.
So many people advised me today to back off and separate from my abusers. And so I did.
So many people advised me today to take care of myself and my inner child. And so I am.
My sister said it was time to embrace those who care. And so it is.
I am often so good at being in denial. I am often trying so hard to be the good little girl, trying to please my abuser, trying to be perfect so he won't get mad at me, trying to do the "right thing." But through the crisis of this past week or so, I have discovered that is there is another way to be. And that is free.
There is freedom in truth and freedom in being real. There is freedom in being true to oneself. There is freedom in love. The honest kind of love.The real kind that makes us whole, the kind that does not tear us apart.
My eyes are wide open and I am seeing something I thought I would never see. I am seeing the truth. Truth has invaded my family. And those who want it or need it are thriving. Living free. And those who need to hide from it are in the dark, toxic to me and to others.
And so I will stick with Truth and Love and Freedom. That will be my flag.
Let freedom ring.
image source

32 comments:

Just Be Real said...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Karinann said...

Colleen,
Good for you! By doing this you take the power away from the abuser and reclaim it for yourself.
Congratulations on the interview with Judy~can't wait to read it.
Thanks for stopping by my blog and for your thoughtful comment.
I've been remembering you at Mass each day and will continue to do so.
God Bless and Happy Independence Day!

John said...

Well done. Stay courageous.

Sadie Brooks said...

Thanks Coleen. What a Blessing"Declaration Of Independence" is. May God continue to heal His people through your writings. God Bless You.

~ Judy ~ said...

...and ring, and ring, and ring.

GOD BLESS YOU COLLEEN and may the light of your TRUTH and FREEDOM draw those who are in darkness out of their toxicity and into NEW LIGHT with CHRIST.

Colleen said...

God bless you all for your comments and support.

Just Be Real, Thank you!! You are so supportive and I appreciate it so much.

Karinann, thank you for remembering me at Mass. I so appreciate it. You are right, I am taking my power back.

John, thank you for your visit and comment. I have always been worn down in the past. But comments like yours to remain courageous are very helpful. I cling to the support I get.

Sadie, thank you so much for your comment. I do receive consolation from knowing that God is using my life to help others.

Judy, thank you. I pray that prayer a lot, that my abuser and all who cover for him will find healing and peace. and I like the sound of those "rings!"

Patricia Singleton said...

Congratulations, Colleen, you have taken a big step in healing and loving yourself. You do have the courage to continue. When you are down, just remember all of the people in your life who do love and approve of you. As loving and caring as you are yourself, I know that there have to be those people who love you back. Depend on those people to help you get through this. I know from personal experience how hard it is to rely upon other people for help and support. They are there if we will just open up to them. It will benefit them as well as us if we allow it.

little sparrow , florasita , sticklady , strong tree woman said...

This is a beautiful post Colleen !

HeartfeltHeartLook said...

Go Colleen!!!

VICKI IN AZ said...

Colleen,
This is a very good day.
I am so proud of you.
I love your DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE!!
Let us know how you are taking care of yourself.
♥ Vicki

Colleen said...

God bless you all for your support!

Patricia, thank you so much for your advice, not only today but all through this "crisis." I waver between being strong and brave and being wimpy and afraid. But then I talk to someone who loves me, as you said, and I feel better. And I read the encouraging words from those who have commented on my blog and that helps too. That is something I am doing differently, reaching out. You are right, it really helps. God bless!

little sparrow, thank you for stopping by and your comment!

Heartfelt - I need cheerleaders!!! It helps give me courage! Thanks.

Vicki, thank you so much! You are right - it is a good day. I loved writing the Declaration of Independence. It felt good. Right now I am living minute to minute.

Shawntele said...

Wonderful declaration!

Colleen said...

Shawntele, thank you so much! God bless.

Cheri said...

Colleen,

I have read your last few posts and it brought tears to my eyes. Wow...as a child of physical and emotional abuse myself, I think I understand the pain of a father not taking responsibility for his actions, and actually turning around blaming you for it.

You are so courageous to take this on in all the ways that you have. You keep on keeping on...and maintain the courage to keep exposing and pointing others toward the truth.

I'll be honest, reading your recent posts has been quite affirming for me, as in recent weeks I'm trying to handle a situation with my parents where a lot of issues of abuse are not resolved...or still have not been properly brought out in the light. And, I just realized in the last couple of days that I'm still suffering for this.

I haven't been the best at keeping up and commenting last few months, as it honestly takes a lot for me to just postonmy own blog. I've been working on a lot of different things. I also struggle at times with opening up via a blogging format. But God bless you for doing it....Peace be with you.



Thanks so much.....

Colleen said...

Cheri, I am so glad that my posts have given you some affirmation. We need that, you and I, and other abuse survivors. I understand about the commenting. I am so glad you commented today though. I needed that encouragement! God bless.

April_optimist said...

Good for you!

Colleen said...

April, thank you for your support!

Wanda's Wings said...

You are so brave!

Colleen said...

Wanda, thank you so much. I don't feel very brave, but everyone's support helps a lot.

mile191 said...

this is amazing. I am impressed with your bravery. Yes, courage. I accept this submission. Actually, you should know that I had already included it. About an hour ago I came across it because it is linked to another submission that had come in earlier today. I loved it and planned to ask you if I could use it.. Thanks. hugs, mile191

Colleen said...

mile191, thank you for your kind words. Hugs.

A Stitch In Thyme said...

Oh man do I hear you!! Amen to this post.

Colleen said...

A Stitch in Thyme, thank you for your amen! I so appreciate being heard! Blessings.

Paula said...

I hear you, I am with you. Great day in your life and you learn to live the first time in your life. When I say, welcome to the club I mean it genuine an dlvoing, not sarcastic. Our voices are growing strong - all around the globe. Safe hugs to you.

Colleen said...

Paula, thank you! Glad to be in the "club!" Glad to know we are not alone and more of us are speaking out! We can be the voices for those who cannot.

Libbe said...

Brava! It takes courage to "come out" as an incest survivor, to claim the word and all it means and use it as a source of power and healing. Abuse thrives in silence and secrecy; only by shattering the secrets can we learn and live and thrive and do the one thing the abusers never wanted us to do: live our own lives on our own terms.

Yeehah, woo-hoo, and keep going!

Love and Light,
Libbe

Colleen said...

Libbe, thank you. This may be my favorite post ever on this subject! It shows I am healing and growing up and being real! Every once in awhile I come back to it to remind myself. Thanks for your cheering and for your wishes for light and love!

VICKI IN AZ said...

Loved it before. Love it again.

“There is in every true woman’s heart a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity; but which kindles up and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity.” Washington Irving

Colleen said...

Thanks Vicki. Love that quote!!

Kim said...

Well said, well said!! Gave me goosebumps!

Marj aka Thriver said...

Colleen: Thank you so much for allowing us to use this post from a year ago for this month's BLOG CARNIVAL AGAINST CHILD ABUSE. I really think the older posts are so valuable sometimes to be resurrected and used again, to speak to folks with a message that may be helpful for them to hear. Thanks for sharing!

Little Seed said...

Yes!!!!!! Woot and Amen to that, sister survivor!