OK. Here is the story.
My stepmother does not know that my father sexually abused my sister and me. She is basically the only one left in the family who does not know. There is a family-thing coming up and she is asking me about what to wear to it. She is, of course, assuming she is going. But it has been decided by the person who is the host of this family thing, that my father and his wife are not being invited, for obvious reasons.
I do not want to hurt her feelings and I do not want to lie to her. I am over that - the part about protecting one's abuser and keeping the secret to keep peace, etc. etc. etc. I have written a book for heaven's sake! I am out in public telling the world! But my own stepmother does not know.
Why? Because my father does not want her to know. He says he is protecting her but we all know who he is protecting. And I have helped protect him by keeping silent.
But I can no longer keep protecting him. I will not lie to her if she asks me why they are not invited. And I have written him to tell him that. I am not doing this to hurt him. I think he will be set free by the truth as well.
I really do not know how this will all turn out. He may come up with some lie that works for her. I am not sure. But I am sure I won't lie to her. I just won't. Secrets hurt all who are involved, on either side of the story.
I am done with secrets. Once and for all.