Saturday, July 11, 2009

Letting Go

Letting go.
How do we let go of the past? How do we move on when there are so many layers of pain to deal with?
Forgiveness is one thing. As I have posted before, forgiveness in my case does not seem to be one time and then I am done with it. It seems to be like an excavation. Every time I think I am done dealing with the past, another layer is uncovered.
I once heard Dr. Phil talking on his show to a survivor of child sexual abuse. He told her that he hoped that one day she would get to the point that she could put her past and her pain and her bad memories in a box and put the box on the top shelf in the back of her closet and leave it there. And maybe only take it out when she needed to deal with it. That image of the box has always stuck with me.
And I was beginning to think that maybe I could put my box of Stuff on the shelf. Writing my book and giving my witness has helped me to tell my story and release a lot of the pain. And I have found it to be a blessing to be able to use my life and my pain to help others. I have experienced some real healing in the past year.

But then this recent 'crisis' came. And there I was, excavating yet again, going through yet another layer, another secret. More Stuff.
I am feeling better now. Each day seems to be better than the day before. So I hang onto the hope that I can put all this away in my box and put my box up on the shelf soon. Very soon I think. I hope.
Hope is good.
image source

6 comments:

Just Be Real said...

Great illustration Colleen. Pretty box on the outside. Glad you are finding it more comfortable daily with this issue.

Blessings and hugs.

mile191 said...

I really love this thought. I think that is what my closet is. Where I write and leave it. I don't go back and re-read, and I think that is good. I just write, and have hope and faith that I will heal. THanks for this and for your comments and support, always.

mile

HeartfeltHeartLook said...

Interesting.
I hope you get to leave it on the shelf more and more, and one day never take it off!

VICKI IN AZ said...

Hello Colleen,
This is beautiful.
Vicki

Yira said...

Very touching and very true. Many of us carry the weight of our past on our shoulders and it does get heavy. But some things do not lend themselves to open discussions with just anyone and so we keep it all inside. Boxing it up or put it on paper, as I often do, helps us to take steps forward towards freedom from the excess baggage. I do believe in hope and pray you will soon be able to put that box of stuff out of the way of your future. Good Luck.

Colleen said...

Blessings and hugs to all for visiting and leaving comments!

Just Be Real, thanks for your comments and hugs. I like that box too!

mile191, I love what you wrote - "I just write, and have hope and faith that I will heal." Thanks for that.

Heartfelt, thank you! That is my hope, too! And people like you help!

Vicki, thank you for your comment and visit. I always appreciate it.

Yira, thank you. Well said. Yes, writing does help. So does hope. Thanks for your visit.