Saturday, September 12, 2009

Just Try To Shut Us Up

I was emailing my sister the other day. She asked me how the book was going and things in general. I wrote how there are some who would rather I not tell my story and I do not really understand that. It is like I am some kind of bad person because I want to help others and myself find our way through this dark tunnel.
She wrote back and said - "Ha! Just try to shut us up!"
I just love that. Just try to shut us up.
My sister is presently not able to tell her story to the world, but I think she has been helped by me telling it. Of course, we can only speak out when we are ready. Some people are never ready. But those of us who can tell our story, we need to speak out for ourselves and for those who cannot. We need to be voices for each other.
And then we need to support each other and remember, that we have done nothing wrong. We did not cause the abuse, we did not deserve the abuse, we could not stop the abuse. We were powerless.
And we are doing nothing wrong by speaking out. We are doing nothing wrong by trying to heal and help others to heal. We are doing nothing wrong by expressing our pain and our sadness and our anger.
We have the right to speak out. We have the right to break the silence. We have the right to educate the world and try to save others from abuse.We did not deserve the pain that we suffered. We do not deserve criticism for expressing our pain. 
We could not speak when we were victims. But we can speak now. And when God gives us the courage and the desire to speak out and tell our story, when we decide it is the right time, when we decide that we want to be one who speaks out, when we realize we are free to make this decision for ourselves and NO ONE has power over us, well then ...
Just try to shut us up.


Just Be Real said...

....I smell a good title to your next book Colleen, "Just Try To Shut Us Up."

This would be awesome! Says it there right in the title!

Thanks for sharing. Blessings dear one.

rox said...

Yes We Can ! Thanks so very much Colleen . I know for me the very worst was the people who wanted to play pretend , that it didn't happen , and most of all not being beleived was the worse thing for me .
The denial of my pain , the bause etc. was the most difficult thing to overcome . That when I was finially ready to speak no one beleived .
I've no idea what kept me going but I never did shut up ;-) yes He kept me hidden for awhile but that silence protected me until I was ready .
Here am now shouting out , well really I don't yell lol
Colleen I felt so so isolated , even online it was like there were no survivor blogs out there and any website I visted focused on peoples pain in a bad way and hate hate hate towards abusers etc.
Then it is so wonderful how He sends it all at once . Your blog , M. mcbRIDES WEBSITE , THE SURVIVORS FORUM ETC.
I've had to and can speak both with and without support of others but it sure is alot less struggle when having each other along the way
Thanks so much Colleen .
my brother won't talk about the abuse at all right now maybe your sister could pray for him ;-) all in our own time with Him .
God Bless , Roxie

sarah said...

you are an encouragement to me. Your determination, your fight - thank you. Sarah

Colleen said...

JBR, thank you. Glad you like it. Funny you should say that. Someone recently asked me if I was going to write another one. Hmmmm

rox, Glad you like this post and it helps you. will pray for your brother. Glad you have found support now. I know what you mean. The support of the blogging community is great. I will check out that forum you mentioned. I too suffered from the lack of affirmation for my pain. That is why I wrote the book in the first place.

Sarah, I am glad I encourage you. And knowing I have support of you and others on these blogs, helps me be determined. Hugs.

Wanda's Wings said...

Those are some awesome words. Your braveness is an encouragement to all survivors. Thank you again.

Cindy said...

Beautiful, you are doing RIGHT.

Colleen said...

Wanda, thank you for letting me know that my words encourage you and others. You encourage me with your comments.

Cindy, thank you for visiting and for telling me that. I need affirmation from time to time.

HeartfeltHeartLook said...

Go Colleen ~ you're helping those who need it, and you're helping the rest of us by educating!

Colleen said...

heartfelt, thank you. :)
This post just came out of a comment made by my sister. It really hit me, and I knew I had to write about it. I find I say better what I want to say when I write from the 'gut.' Don't you? God bless!

Patricia Singleton said...

I think that breaking the silence, especially that first time, is the hardest thing that many of us as survivors do. Talking can be like opening a flood gate once we face the fear. I remember I talked and talked and kept talking my way through those first years of pain, anger and shame. Eventually the shame lost most of its power and the anger began to slowly go away. The fear is manageable most of the time. I like your title. Just let them try to shut us up. Not going to happen.

Colleen said...

Patricia, I felt the same way when I first started talking. I couldn't seem to stop! It happened again during the clergy abuse scandal in the church. I had to keep talking about it in order to feel better. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Wow this really resonated with me. I'm glad you and your sister can encourage one another this way. :)

Colleen said...

fromthesamesky - I am so glad this post helped you. I still read it from time to time to remind myself. Yes, I am blessed to have the support of my sister in all that I do. Hugs.

Marj aka Thriver said...

This is so amazingly, powerfully, succinctly written. I think this is my favorite post I've read of yours! Excellent! Thank you so much for allowing us to include it in this month's Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse. This is a wonderful message for all survivors.

Colleen said...

Oh Marj, bless your heart! Glad you like it so much. When my sister said those words, this post just came out of my heart and flew onto the keyboard! Probably because I feel this message so strongly right now. Hugs.

Anonymous said...

Just found this blog - great one! And I agree with Just Be Real - this would be a great book, possibly an anthology of we survivors sharing our stories and our truth with each other and the world.

You're a good writer, passionate about your topic, with a great way of expressing your points. Keep going! I love to feel myself in community with other survivors who do not shy away from the word "incest." That's what I survived adn to find another clear-voiced person online - well, I hate qualifying to be in this community, and it's great that I can have community with women such as yourself. Thank you! -- Libbe.

Colleen said...

Libbe, thank you! I appreciate your kind words. I used to shy away from using the word incest. Until I realized that if there is any shame in the word, incest, the shame belongs to the abuser, not to me. Belonging to this community online - this blogging community of survivors, is really a healing experience. There is so much support here. Blessings and hugs to you!
As for a book - I am thinking on it - with this title of course!

Colleen said...

JBR, I think I am ready to write that 2nd book now.