Thursday, December 17, 2009

Dealing with Feeling

I am depressed. It is time I just face it rather than pretend it isn't there.
It isn't any kind of severe depression. I am just sad. Weepy. I cry at the drop of a hat.
Then I go to visit Patricia's blog at Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker and she writes about feelings and recognizing feelings and releasing feelings,etc. And I know my problem. Or I think I know it.
I am not letting myself feel my feelings. I am stressed out right now and I am resisting my feelings.
A therapist I once saw for a few visits told me that we basically have 4 feelings or a combination of these 4: mad, sad, glad, and afraid. And she told me that I need to practice recognizing these feelings. Stop in the middle of the day, for example, and decide what I am feeling.I do not do it often but sometimes I catch myself thinking about it.
So, what feelings am I feeling today?
I wrote about this a while back. I was writing about being "real."
"In my book I devote a chapter to becoming real. It is so difficult to do as an incest survivor. I have to try to get in touch with my feelings and check myself out from time to time. Often someone else helps with that - my husband is really good at helping me be real. I think asking myself the following questions also helps."
So I think I will ask myself these questions again.
How do I feel right now? Sad. Mad. Afraid.
How do I see myself today?I see myself as a tired woman and stressed and exhausted.
What do I like about myself today?I like that I am writing about this and am doing the best I can to take care of myself - like writing and crying on hubby's shoulder. And going to bed early tonight!
How do I think or hope God sees me today? The same thing I wrote the last time - God sees me as a vulnerable child of his who is needing His love and comfort and healing.
Well, it's a start.


Patricia Singleton said...

Colleen, thanks for sharing this. I have been a bit stressed myself these past few weeks with Thanksgiving, my birthday, holiday and birthday parties, 12-Step meetings, family visiting and the current situation between my husband, son and our son's girlfriend. My recognition of my own stress was why I posted my article on feelings earlier today. All of the above played a part in the 2-day migraine that I had over the weekend---not a pleasant way to spend my birthday.

Just Be Real said...

Colleen, sorry that you are feeling "sad." I was prophesied over once and was told that I have a spirit of sadness.

Like what that t. said to you about the four types of feelings.

Glad you are taking your own advice and asking yourself your questions. Yes, it is a start. You can actually see it on paper besides feeling the pain.

Dear one, pray you got much needed rest for your mind and body, and the much needed rest our Lord provides for us when we trust Him.

P.S. thank you for the award!

Colleen said...

Patricia, Happy Birthday! Hope you are feeling better from that migraine. Sounds like you have a lot of reasons to be stressed. Glad you are able to recognize it. Thanks.

JBR, you are welcome for the award. Thanks for your prayers and kind words. Asking myself those questions helps. God bless!

speck of dust said...

I think it is so hard not to get stressed at Christmas. And then there's a bit of an anticlimax, no wonder January is the most difficult month of the year for many of us. Thanks for writing this post I feel less alone when I read something I connect with. And what you write is very useful for me.

Hoping your depression lifts soon. Does watching a film trigger your emotions? These days I cry at the drop of a hat but I know when I had difficulty releasing sadness in the past a film could get me going. And it's ok to feel sad. Even or especially at Christmas. And if I need to get out of the rut of sadness a good comedy will help. All the best x

sarah said...

sorry you're feeling sad Colleen but it will pass. I always tried to numb out the negative feelings. I didn't know how to handle them. But with help I learned they're just feelings and they come and then go...Sending you hugs. Sarah

Colleen said...

speck of dust, thank you for your advice of a movie. Yes, that does help. Thanks for understanding so well, too. That anti-climax does hit me hard at times as well.

Sarah, you are so right. Feelings just come and go. And we cannot help how we feel either. Thanks for the hugs.

Marj aka Thriver said...

I didn't even realize before about two years ago, just how important feeling the feelings are to healing. Good for you, Colleen, for dealing with feeling!

Colleen said...

Marj, thank you! I didn't realize it either for years.

Wanda's Wings said...

I'm sorry you are feeling sad. I too am very sad right now. The holidays can cause this for a lot of people. It is not that perfect time of the year for everybody.

Colleen said...

Wanda, thank you for your kind words. I am sorry you are sad, too. Holidays often seem to trigger things. Hugs.

Mike Golch said...

Colleen,I have an award for you on my blog.