Looking at the pictures of survivors on the Let Go Let Peace Come In video, I was reminded of how the pictures of me as a little girl have helped me in my own healing.
As an adult, I would get so angry whenever I heard about the sexual abuse of a child. But I never got angry about my own abuse. Or let me put it this way - I never expressed my anger. I probably internalized it and it came out in other ways.
I read somewhere that survivors of child sexual abuse often feel that they are not worth getting angry over. So many survivors end up in some kind of helping profession - teacher, nurse, etc. - always trying to help others because we could not help ourselves.
So it was suggested that we survivors look at pictures of ourselves as children so we can feel sympathy toward that little one who was hurt so bad and perhaps then be able to express some anger, in a healthy way, of course.
So, one of the pictures I looked at was this one posted here. I saw a cute dog and a cute little girl. There was one thing that bothered me about this picture though. The eyes.
They look sad.
So I got angry. For the first time I expressed some anger about what was done to that little girl. What was done to ME.
And I felt good about that. And I felt compassion for that little girl. And I decided right then and there that I was going to take better care of her. I was going to take better care of me.
I have not always taken good care of myself. But I am getting better at it all the time. I am learning to feel compassion for the little girl that is me.