Sunday, February 14, 2010

The Best Part

I wrote this today because I felt compelled to do so. Because I want to give hope to all who need it.
My husband gave me a beautiful Valentine's Day card yesterday. On the front it said - "You are the best part of the best years of my life."
I loved those words and they stuck with me all day. And later, in the quiet of the night, I realized why. That is exactly how I feel about him.
These ARE the best years of my life. They are the best because I am safe. I am happy. I am free. And, despite what was done to me when I was a little girl, I love and I trust this man of mine.
Oh, I do not feel that way all the time. But I feel that way most of the time. And add that to the fact that I am married to a wonderful man who has always tried to understand me and my pain. Who, even when he did not understand me, trusted and loved me anyway. And always treated me with tender loving care.
It took me years to really trust in his love, but I do now. And I no longer need a Valentine's Day card to know he loves me.
And that is the best part of all.

10 comments:

Janie said...

I rejoice with you not only on this Valentine's Day weekend but that you have a husband who is loving, caring and you can TRUST! What a wonderful blessing from God. You feel safe. Isn't that one of the key ingredients we look for in a relationship with a man when we have been abused? Perhaps after my childhood of abuse, and my 33 year marriage of abuse (which has ended) God will grant me the desires of my heart to find a relationship such as yours. Janie

Just Be Real said...

Appreciate you sharing on this topic Colleen. Blessings.

Patricia Singleton said...

For me, the ability to trust my husband is probably what has given me the most freedom to work on me through the years. It is a wonderful blessing to be able to trust another person and to discover what love really means because of that person. Like you, I have been blessed by my life with a wonderful, loving, and very patient man. He isn't perfect. Neither am I. We are both flawed. That is what makes us human.

In that safe environment that we have created together, I have found who I truly am despite the childhood incest or maybe because of the childhood incest. It is within that safe environment that I learned to trust and to love again.

Without the incest, I would not be who I am today. That is true for my husband too because he has been here for every step that I have taken through the hatred, anger, sorrow, forgiveness and finally back to love.

There were many times that my husband could have chosen to leave or out of fear, I could have chosen to leave. Neither of us did. Instead, our love for each other has continued to grow for the past 37 years. Loving each other is way deeper than being "in love". Loving another person happens over time. Being "in love" can happen in an instant and wears off after a very short time. That is when the work of loving begins. Loving another person takes work like most things of value.

Colleen, I am glad that you had a wonderful Valentine's Day. Thanks for writing this post. It is truly a description of what loving a partner is all about.

Colleen said...

Janie, thank you for rejoicing with me. I pray and hope that you find happiness. You deserve it. We all do. Hugs.

JBR - thanks. Hugs and prayers.

Patricia, what a beautiful comment. We have a lot in common on our journey and it looks like we do here too. You truly understand how I feel today. Thanks. Hugs.

Susan Deborah said...

We no longer need the card but then when we do get a card, we're happy as a lark!

I enjoyed this post Colleen.

I am glad that you are happy and free and you give us the same by posting.

Joy and courage always,
Susan

Colleen said...

Susan Deborah, thank you. You are so right, we are happy when we get that card that we say we don't need! Courage and joy to you, too!

Paula said...

Colleen, what a treasure that a card showed you how much you have accomplished over the years. Happy for you. Yes, all was done to little Colleen. Now big Colleen is in the position to decide and choose. Little Colleen hasnt had that choice, but NOW you have - and you have chosen well. A life of love and hope and healing. The best part!

Colleen said...

Paula, thank you for your visit and encouragement!

Marj aka Thriver said...

Awww! This is so sweet! Thanks for sharing. I feel the same way about my wonderful husband. Aren't we lucky?! :)

Colleen said...

Marj, yes we are lucky!! Thanks for the visit!