Thursday, February 18, 2010

An Up and Down Week

Earlier this week I posted about the best part of my life being my life with my husband. I felt really great.
But this week was also my father's birthday. And try as I might, I could not stop feeling those twinges of sadness. And wishing things were different.
But I have to be REAL. I have to try to live in the present and accept what is. I will keep open to the possibility, but I have to let go of the wishing.

So I prayed for my father, hoping he will someday find healing and wholeness. That somehow made me feel better.

FYI - I have decided to keep a Lenten Journal. In the interest of keeping myself organized, and also because I love blogging, I started a blog just for this journal. It is called, interesting enough, Lenten Journal. (How original.)
I will write whatever I feel called to write. Whenever I feel called to write. A sharing of my journey through Lent. I may write about being a survivor, I may not. It is all about what I am doing or feeling at that moment.
My prayers are with you all.


Andrea said...

Thank you for sharing from your heart. I "really" get it. I do not have a healthy relationship with either of my parents (their choice).
Blessings and prayers, andrea

Colleen said...

Andrea, thank you so much. I am glad you get it. It helps to know we are not alone!

Patricia Singleton said...

My mother's birthday was on Feb. 12so I also understand your sadness. For me, this was a good week. I had the ups and downs the week before my mom's birthday.

Just Be Real said...

Colleen, appreciate you sharing your pain. ((((Colleen))))

Colleen said...

Patricia, it helps to know I am not alone.

JBR, thanks for your hugs.

Paula said...

Can relate so very much. My father died shortly after my birth, my step father abused me and my mother delivered me to him. NO, not a healthy family or relation with any of them. However most is overcome. Hugs to you, dear Colleen.

Colleen said...

Paula, thanks for your hugs. We are not alone are we?

April_optimist said...

(((Hugs))) It's hard to know that we will never get the love we wish we had from the people we love. At the same time, I'm so glad we can still love and face our own hurt because that's part of what will keep us from replicating the abuse. And it's what lets us grow and heal.

Colleen said...

April, you are so right - so good to to be able to love and deal with our hurt. Makes us human and real. God bless and hugs!