Monday, March 8, 2010

Fears and Boundaries

I haven't posted much recently. Partly due to being very busy. Partly due to avoiding things. Like how I am feeling these days.
I am struggling with boundaries so bought a book about it. Will let you know more as I get into it. I realized that I needed to pay more attention to boundaries after I allowed someone to tell me how I was feeling. Don't you just hate that? And yet, I said nothing, as I felt myself crying within.
Patricia of Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker has posted a few excellent articles on fear and I know that is an issue of mine lately as well. I find that a lot of my old fears pop up once in awhile. Here is the short list:
1. Fear of not being needed.
2. Fear of not being good enough.
3. Fear of being lonely.
4. Fear of rejection.
5. Fear of making mistakes.
They are all kind of related to each other. All having to do with what others think of me. 
How about you? What are some of your fears?

17 comments:

JBR/God Whispers In The Wind said...

My dear one, my fears are your fears.  I am so very sorry for this battle within you, but certainly do understand.

Just this past weekend, it was a rough one for me as loneliness and lack of self worth once again found its way into my head.  I hear you and I am listening Colleen.(((((Colleen))))

Colleen said...

Bless you, JBR. You are such an encouragement to me. Hugs to you, too.

sarah said...

boundaries are tough...and fears to let my guard down has always been the hardest...trusting...letting go...hang tough ok. Sarah

Colleen said...

sarah, trusting is tough for sure .. thanks for dropping by! Hugs.

Lily said...

Yep, letting my guard down and trusting would be A#1. Physical touch is close up there!

Colleen said...

Lily, thanks for your comment. We all have so much in common. Trust is a big issue for me.

Adele P. said...

I find that my greatest fear - Fear of isolating myself - is the sum of a lot of other fears. Fear of financial concerns, fear of living alone for almost 6 years, fear of growing older, fear of living so far away from family, and fear of a lack of companionship. All of these fears, I've realized, have bubbled up into the greatest fear of self-isolation: not wanting to go out, not staying in touch with some friends, not wanting to participate in things = even if they are free- feeling inadequate, even though I try to help others in my community and around the world, falling into self doubt. I feel your pain, and it makes me sad. It may be that we both need to take time out to rest and rethink our life mission.

Colleen said...

Adele, thank you for your visit and your openness. Rest sounds very good! Hugs.

Patricia Singleton said...

Colleen, thanks for the link. I am going to add a link back to this article from my blog as well. Fear of rejection can still raise its ugly head for me occasionally. Learning to trust has gotten easily as I have learned to trust myself and listen to my instincts or intuition about other people. Awareness of your fears is a good place to start in facing those fears.

Colleen said...

Patricia, thank you. I always appreciate your comments. I agree that awareness is a good first step. Blogging and sharing helps that I think.

Paula & Skip said...

Dear Colleen, in my recent trauma therapy I learned that my core issue is trust - including trusting myself. I feel good to finally have a name and all what comes with it including fear ( receeding thansk for that) and boundaries. I had posted some boundary exercise on my blog with I had exercised during my therapy. If you like I am happy to send the links that you dont have to read my entire blog!!!! Hang in there, your awareness is the first step, some confusionw here to start or when it gets better - well, all of that is unfortunately "normal" for us abused people. My innr child is looking for yours, to help little Colleen along till she is more comfi. Love you

Colleen said...

Paula, I will check out your blog on boundaries. Thank you so much for your support and encouragement!!

Paula said...

Colleen, sorry that I commented form my couple blog. If oyu like to check my blogs on recovery: http://pneuemier.blogspot.com
and
http://recoveryinart.blogspot.com

sarah said...

stopped by again to say hi and let you know I'm thinking about you....Hope you're having a gentle weekend. Sarah

Colleen said...

Sarah, thank you for thinking of me. I appreciate it. Hugs.

Cheri said...

I think the fear of being lonely is a big one for many people. It is very hard to face it..especially when we know it will be part of our life experience for a time. When I have to make tough decisions that involve personal boundaries with others...I just keep thinking that God is with me..and that it is only helping me to be stronger to receive the right people into my life. I remind myself too, that lonliness can be a good thing for a time, in that, it helps us get to know ourselves and God even better.

Colleen said...

Cheri, I like your positive outlook on being alone - seeing it as a time to be with God and letting the right people in our lives. Thank you so much. Blessings!