Saturday, June 5, 2010

All is Well

I have been away on vacation. I am back now and all is well with me. I visited my youngest son and his wife and they are doing well. So happy for them. So proud of them. I blogged on my other blog about the contentment I felt after visiting them and the realization that I have truly broken the cycle of abuse, that I can feel content about being a mother. That I have been part of something life-giving and healthy and loving.
Hugs to all.

33 comments:

Just Be Real said...

Glad you had a wonderful time dear one. Thank you for sharing. Blessings.

sarah said...

this is great Colleen. So happy for you and for your family...the cycle is broken.

Colleen said...

JBR, thank you. God bless and hugs.

Sarah, thank you. Yes, it is a happy moment which I wish I could hold onto forever!

Patricia Singleton said...

What a great place to be.

Colleen said...

Patricia, Amen to that! Sigh, if that feeling would only last! Maybe? Hugs.

April_optimist said...

This truly makes me smile!

I'm making the rounds of a few of the blogs I read to say good-bye. I've posted about it on my blog but I also wanted to say you will be in my heart and prayers.

Colleen said...

April, thank you for your prayers. If you are leaving, I will miss you!

Lily said...

Your post about your children is so heart felt. You can tell you really are content! I'm so glad this is where you are at!

Colleen said...

Lily, yes, truly heartfelt. Thank you. I will try to stay in this moment and enjoy it! Blessings.

rox said...

Hi Colleen , I love Your palm tree ☺
just popping in to let You know I gave Your blog an award via my natural catholic blog if You want to pop in and receive it ☺
Thnks so much for being You
lov rox

Colleen said...

Rox, thank you!! God bless!

Paula said...

Hugs, I am so glad you feel content. I know how hard it is to reach this stage! Yes, having a child is very healing. Yet, I was too afraid then. I am glad for you and yours.

Colleen said...

Paula, yes it is hard. And I know I wont stay here. But I appreciate it now.

Just Be Real said...

Coming back to give you a ((((Colleen))))

Colleen said...

JBR, I needed that hug! Thanks!

Rising Rainbow said...

Sounds like a good place to be, that's cool.

Colleen said...

Rising Rainbow, yes, it is right now. Thank you!

Kim Ian Tumblod said...

Hi... I know you don't me, I just wanted to tell you. You have a really nice blog.. I hope I can be as creative as you... when it comes to designs=)

Anonymous said...

I tried posting a comment last night but was having computers problems so please excuse this one if the other came over. I wanted to post this in the comments so that I could get advice from others that have walked this same road. I do apologize in advance cause I'm sure this is going to get long.
My dad sexually abused me from before I can remember till I was 10. That's when I told my mom and she removed me from the situation. He went on to gave another daughter my his girlfriend a few years later. She is now 15(I'm 28). We don't have much of a relationship. I guess I was in denial about my abuse and hoped that he would never do it again. But now I'm hearing things that make me think he is. First of all I know how his addictions to porn is. He use to have a very large collection of magazines and videos. He hasn't had a (she just leaves them for all to see) she has failed at least twice in school, she's on ant-depressants and is just generally a very unhappy girl. I decided to contact her just to make sure was ok without coming out and asking if he was doing anything to her. She did not want to meet with me cause she said she would cry to much but she would talk via text with me. During that text conversation when realized that I didn't want anything to do with him she gets around to asking if he did bad things to me, like rapers do or just drama stuff? I found that to be very odd unless she has already heard about my abuse or she is going through it. She kept wanting to know if I loved him, respected him etc. And that he wants to start seeing me a lot more!! She assured me that all was well with them and that they were "good and close."
Ok I'll stop there, but those of y'all that have been down this road, what do you make of all of this??? I'm so confused as what to do for her. If it's going on I want her out NOW!! Do these sound like warning signs or just a girl with problems?
Thanks so much!!
Christine

mmaaggnnaa said...

I'm tickled that you had a great time and that you can be proud of the fact that a new way of being has been established in your family.

Well done!

- Marie (Coming Out of the Trees)

Rising Rainbow said...

Anonymous, I could write a book on what I read between those lines because there is a lot there. In a nutshell it sounds to me like she's trying to see if it's safe to tell you that she's being abused by him.

Also from what you've said about him, sounds to me like he's pretty far down the road to stop. He's bad news for any young girl.

Colleen said...

Christine, I would definitely be worried about her. Doesn't sound right. Warning signs for sure. Praying!

Marie, thank you! Hugs!

Anonymous said...

Opps... in my comment it was to say that he hadn't had a girlfriend in years. That my sister wheres diapers at night cause she pees so much and that during that time of the month she leaves her used pads for all to see. Just wanted to clarify cause I'm sure that didn't make any sense.
Chrisine

Anonymous said...

Rising Rainbow and Colleen,
Thank you so much!
I just don't know what to do from here. If I should wait to see if she contacts me or move onto child services. I feel like part of it is my fault for not speaking up sooner. Until this past April I have not told anyone besides my mom. I have been holding in for 18 years!!! I'm sooo tired of hiding it and my healing needs to begin. I want my voice to be heard and I want to be a voice for my sister when she can't.
Colleen, thank you for your blog, a place to come and read where someone else has been through the same.
I have just began to start looking for blogs and books on this subject. My mom has always been the one to listen to me. I have never made steps to contact other surviors. Sorry I'm so long winded. I just have so much going through my head and don't know how to deal with it all right now.
Thank you so much!!
Christine
P.S. I'm going to post my email if anyone has any suggestions feel free to contact me, I feel bad using your comments for my needs. But thank you for letting me!!!
greene.christine@rocketmail.com

Anonymous said...

Sorry one more thing....During our text conservation she kept insisting on me coming to see him or them coming to see me. She even said that if I came to thier house she would stay outside with my husband and kids so I could talk to him. Maybe nothing but I thought it to be strange....
Christine

Rising Rainbow said...

Anonymous, I guess if it were me, I would respond to her questions truthfully. I'd probably say "do you remember when you asked me ......" and then go from there. If she has reason to think you will believe her she will be more willing to tell you what's happening.

I have experience with child protective services and I doubt they will take any action without something more concrete to go on. Even at that, she might not be comfortable talking to a stranger like that and might not come clean with what she knows.

Good Luck!

Colleen said...

Christine,
Might I suggest you joining a forum like After Silence? They have message boards there and you can write about what you are going though and receive advice and support from others. You might find someone who has had a similiar situation like your's. It works better than a blog because you just post messages and then check for replies and go back and forth. You get more of a response too as many more people are reading the messages. After Silence is one that I joined and I got a lot of support and help through it. Here is link:
http://www.aftersilence.org/
Of course you are always welcome to comment here too. Hugs.

Anonymous said...

Colleen,
I tried joing After Silence a few days ago after seeing on your sidebar. I got my activation email and was waiting for the blog admin to approve me. But I haven't heard anything. Last time I tried logging in, I wasn't even in the system. So I reg. one more time. I'll see how it goes. I even contacted the blog admin. and never heard anything back.
Christine

Colleen said...

Christine, don't give up! I seem to remember having the same problem. They may not notify you so try every day to log in with your name and password. If no luck by Monday night, try writing the administrator again. There are also public forums there for anyone to write and you could ask there for assistance. Once a member, I never had any problem logging in. Hugs!

Anonymous said...

Colleen, I finally got apporved. I'm going to go over and post there is just a bit.
Christine

Colleen said...

Christine, I am so glad!! Be sure to explore it - there is a lot of different topics there. I hope it helps you. Hugs!

Marj aka Thriver said...

Kudos, congrats, well-done, hooray! Thanks for sharing this, Colleen. How wonderful! You so deserve this. I'm glad you had a great vacation.

Colleen said...

Marj - thank you for the cheering! Yes, it was wonderful. Blessings!