Sometimes I would just rather be invisible. I would rather others not notice me so I can blend in. I do not like being the center of attention.
But how about when I go somewhere and I am ignored and I did not want to be ignored?
Sometimes I know it is just me and my own insecurities. BUT sometimes it really is that way.
Do other people make me feel invisible or do I make myself feel invisible? Or can it be both?
One day recently I went to someone's house and I felt like no one cared about me or whether I was there or not. I felt like I could have come in and out without anyone really noticing.
And then I realized. I was invisible. Only a few people knew I was present. I said Hello to everyone but only a few noticed.
And I felt very sad. Very sad.
And I cried myself to sleep like I was a little girl.
When I was a little girl, I was being hurt and no one noticed. I was invisible. And now it seems that feeling can come right back without my expecting it.
The difference is, this time, I can do something about it. I can tell myself that I am not invisible. I can refuse to allow others to make me feel invisible. I can refuse to go places where I feel invisible.In other words, I can be good to me. I can be my own best friend.