Lonely is ...

There are different kinds of loneliness.

Lonely is being in a crowded room and feeling alone. 

Lonely is being sexually abused by your father while the world around you goes on like nothing is happening. 

Lonely is thinking that you are the only person in the world going through this. That there must be something wrong with you for your father to do this to you.

Lonely is wanting to tell your best friend about the abuse, but you are afraid of God knows what. Maybe she won't believe you. Maybe she won't like you any more.

Lonely is thinking that the security of the family depends on you keeping the secret.

Lonely is someone telling you to "Get over it."

Read more at my other blog ...

The Face of A Survivor

It has been a long time since I posted here. I have posted when I think I had something to share that would be helpful.

I decided to write a post on my other blog. It is my Catholic blog and child sexual abuse has been a big issue in the Church over the past 10 years. The Church has made some changes and is working on education and healing and prevention. And I am so glad to see it.

But there is still a lot of ignorance out there in all of society and a lack of understanding as to what we survivors suffer.

April is Child Abuse Awareness Month. My sister has been going though a rough time so I thought I would post about it to help others see what the face of a survivor looks like.

The Face of A Survivor

Survivors Tell Their Stories

Survivors showed courage.

Survivors told their story.

People listened.

People believed.

And the perpetrator of the abuse will go to jail, probably for the rest of his life. He will face consequences for what he has done. 

And the survivors will hopefully heal. 

Because the world has just become a better place.

And people listened.

Thank you to the survivors who told their stories in front of the whole world. 

I am grateful. 

And I am proud of you.

Poem for Survivors

I just read Amy Sorrell's poem for survivors on her blog. Very beautiful. And meaningful. Thanks Amy.

We Survivors Stand For Truth

When people falsely accuse someone of sexual abuse, they abuse us survivors as well. Every time someone lies about abuse, they make it harder for us to be believed. 

We have a hard enough time speaking out about what has happened to us. There is no room in our world for liars.

As we struggle to bring light to our world, as we struggle to bring the truth about sexual abuse to the world, we do not need to be fighting people who would rather lie for whatever reason.

We survivors stand for truth.

Someone Listened

A father was arrested for sexually abusing his daughter. She had been abused since age 7 and she is middle school age now. It was the headline for the local news tonight and they did a whole story on child sexual abuse and the statistics and the signs to watch out for.
I was so happy to see the reporting of this incident. I wonder what will happen if some victims see this.
I wonder what would have happened if I had seen something like this on the news.
Would I have reported my father? At the very least, I would have known I was not alone.
There is hope. I sense it. There is hope. With all of the abuse stories coming out lately - Penn State and sports organizations and before this, the Catholic Church, people are now listening. People are paying attention and getting educated.
It is coming out of the dark.
I am so relieved that this girl was listened to and helped. Hopefully she will get therapy, and she will do better than a lot of us who carried our secret into adulthood.
We have a long way to go, but there is hope.
Someone listened.

Video on Narcissism

I saw this video today and wanted to share it with you all. A lot of what Fr. Martin says makes sense. In fact I recognized my father in his description of the narcissist.

Wondering Out Loud

I am wondering ...

how that boy who was sexually molested in the shower room at Penn State about 10 years ago is doing now?

how does he feel seeing the riots and protests at the school over the firing of the football coach who failed to protect him or call the police?

I am wondering ...

why a football coach who is supposed to be dedicated to the care and welfare of children would not worry about this kid who was abused by one of the former coaches and do more about it?

why the assistant who witnessed the abuse did not stop it right then and there? Why did he not rescue that boy? Why did he not call the police?

I am wondering ...

knowing the horrible statistics of child sexual abuse - somewhere between 8 to 20% - and knowing that over 70% of all reported sexual assaults occur to children 17 years old and under,

why is no one rioting on college campuses about THAT?

God Gave me Back My Innocence

I always felt like my father stole my innocence.
But I no longer think that is true.
He stole it, yes.
But God gave it back to me. To Him, I am always his beloved child. Innocent because he made me that way. Innocent as a newborn babe.
Thank you, Lord.

Hang on to Hope

My sister is in the hospital. I ask for prayers. She has physical issues and emotional issues. She is a fighter. We both are. But she has a harder time. And so she needs more help. More prayers. 

Please pray for her to feel better and to hang on to hope. Sometimes that is all we have.